Yes We Have Nosferatu
Double (creature) feature: Eggers wants to suck your film history
Vampire cosplayer guy sat behind me at the Nosferatu double bill. When I asked to take his photo, the ice dam of Czech hesitation broke and half the crowd got into it, lining up like (shutter)bugs ready to be consumed by a Renfield.
The character named Renfield is absent in Nosferatu, both the original 1922 version and the new one by Robert Eggers, but the Renfield equivalent is named Knock, pronounced Ka-nok. The original film is silent but the K is not!
We sat in the front row, as always; behind us, the obviously stoned laughed at anything possible — another example that night of white Czechs flying their freak flags over Dracula’s castle.
Random notes:
Why is Nicholas Hoult in every movie now. Just this year he’s raged through Juror #2, The Order, and now this.
We see Nosferatu’s average-sized penis hanging down in one scene in the middle of the new version, but we don’t see Johnny Depp’s daughter’s breasts until the end.
¿Did Eggers orchestrate a major Hollywood production just so he could see Lily-Rose Depp having an orgasm?
The new Nosferatu looked like a giant zombie version of Ukrainian boxing champ Oleksandr Usyk:
What exactly is wrong with Robert Eggers anyway. Youngblood takes on Ancient Transylvanian, okay. But don’t remake a landmark film unless you’re going to ka-nok it out of the ballpark. (Now THAT* is a film that needs to be made: Baseball Vampires: Night Games Only, since Blood Diamond is already taken.) It’s truly regrettable when your film, replete with all modern conveniences, comes off as meh next to a (or even the) 100-year-old silent film.
Coppola’s Dracula on blood thinners: Egger’s film serves only to remind us, on all counts, of the better counts.
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